8/19/97 - Inextricable Talents.

     I've probably bitched about this somewhere
     before, but it keeps coming up, especially
     when I'm busy designing graphics for the
     site.

     I'm stuck in a certain sort of design habit
     which I'm not sure I appreciate.  The skinny
     is that I'm going through every personal
     site author's nightmare -- looking through
     the older pages on my site and seeing how
     horridly ugly they are.  I mean, really.
     Some of the stuff I've done would turn me
     off completely if I were a visitor too. ;)
     And Hell, some of the content's still the
     same as it was a couple years ago!

     I've made significant leaps and strides
     toward becoming a more free graphics
     designer.  I think Genesis is one of the
     best projects I've done and I like how
     it looks.

     I like the main page, although I could add
     some more to it if I wanted.

     But I don't have that little something.  Don't
     ask me what it is or how you get it, but I
     am no good at making something so slick that
     not even sandpaper will snag on it.  You know
     the sites I'm talking about.  Glassdog, for
     one.  Real slick.  Lance knows what he's
     doing.  There aren't many people on the Web
     that I truly respect, but Lance is one of
     the people I've always hated because they're
     so good at what they do.

     I can't do the commercial pizzazz.  Well, I
     probably COULD pull it off, but it wouldn't
     be me, y'know?  Everything I do turns out to
     look very, well, Bennish (c).  Very
     efficient and cramped, often plain-looking
     and not very original.  Certainly nothing
     eye-grabbing.  I will admit that it's
     better than most stuff and I make it all
     myself.  I admit it looks good, but that's
     it.  "Good."  Whee.

     It isn't my nature.  My nature follows more
     along the line of making sure every single
     fucking line in the HTML source is perfectly
     spaced and the HTML is valid.  It's a
     perfectionist thing.  If they gave out
     awards for HTML source, ... well, they still
     wouldn't give me awards, but they'd make sure
     I got a psychiatrist to straighten out my
     obsessive nature for the trivial.

     As I said earlier, I've gotten better at
     letting it go more when I make graphics, so
     there's a little more glitter and lace going
     into the work these days.  But I have to
     remember that I'm not at home in the world
     of Photoshop.  My home lies in the source,
     which, ironically, thanks to Netscape, is
     the least looked at part of any page besides
     the writings it contains (ahem).

       "In order that people may be happy in
        their work, these three things are needed:
        They must be fit for it.  They must not
        do too much of it.  And they must have a
        sense of success in it."

                               -John Ruskin.

     At any rate, I'm still trying.  I love
     screwing around with Photoshop (probably
     because I get off on moving the layers
     over and under each other (ooh, aah,
     ain't layers so much fun?)).  Just never
     expect too much about me in that department.

     I refuse to copy a style.  Even if it keeps
     me in the level of a second-rate web designer.

     Links of the day (of course, my own):
       <A HREF="http://ccwf.cc.utexas.edu/~infinity/logos/">logos</A> for contests I'm entered in.

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